The Holistic Care

Excellent Facts:-
-Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than mind.
-Smile is an action which makes everything work faster except tongue.
-Opinions r like wrist watches!!
-Everyone's watch shows different time from other but
Everyone Believes that their time is Accurate.

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing how they "divined" what part of the collection money each retained for personal needs and what part was turned in to their respective institutions.

"I draw a line," said the minister, "on the floor. All the money I toss in the air -- what lands to the right of the line I keep, to the left of the line is the Lord's."
The priest nodded, saying, "My system is essentially the same, only I use a circle. What lands inside is mine, outside is his." The rabbi smiled and said, "I do the same thing. I toss all the money into the air and whatever God grabs is his!"

OSHO

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.

A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died.
SANTA went china 2 know thea meaning, that was-KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha..

If u r stressed, you'll get pimples..
if u cry,u'll get wrinkles..
So, y don't u smile & get dimples?

After Eating Fish Santa Dont Drink Water
Y
Coz
He Feared That Fish Will
Start Swimming In His Stomach...

Jeeto: asi kithe ja rahe h?

santa:lambi drive te.

Jeeto: pehla dasna si, me bachiya nu v le ana si!

Santa: mainu v kehda kithe pta si, gaddi de break hune fail hoye h.

Diffrent styles of proposing a girl 4 marriage:
1) English> Will u marry me?
2) Hindi> kya aap mujhse shadi karogi?
3) PUNJABI> vehli hain..?Viaah hi karala

Namaste,
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

A Rabbit runs, jumbs, and lives only for 15 years!
A Turtle doesn't run, does nothing in his life time, yet lives for 150 years!!!

So....

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, “Send her some flowers and a card and invite her for a home-cooked meal.”

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman of his dreams.


The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta: “It was a flop idea.”

Santa: Didn’t the girl come to your house?

Banta: She did, but she refused to cook!!

Bus me bahut bhid thi.

Ek aadmi ne bus mein ghuste hue kaha: Lagta hai bas mein janvar bhare hai.

crowded-bus.jpg

Bus mein bede dusre aadmi ne kaha: Haan sab sabhi tarah ke janvar yaha hai, sirf ek gadhe ki kami thi.